Everybody has their own life-history. I have mine too. But its too pathetic and painful as I always tried not to think or mention about it.
My life started to change when im 14. I mixed with the wrong bunch of people and my life turned upside down. A fucked-up one.My parents were my no.1 enemy. At one point, I was so curious and eager to taste the 'fun of life' and I hate myself for being such a terrible daughter. I was completely engrossed by all those stupid and disgrace things I thought were cool back then.Being a typical youngster, I couldnt think the rasionality of my behaviour and blamed others. Seriously, if I could turn back time , I would go back and give a nice slap to 15 years old Ernie.
Thank god, I found few amazing people when I turned 16 and they changed my perspective of life indirectly.
Why am I posting this? Because Im sad. I am sad watching all these young girls trying so hard to fit in. They do things without realizing they are jeopardizing their own future. I wish I could just confront and tell them that I UNDERSTAND.
People always thought, oh ern baek, ern xbuat tu,ern xbuat ni, ern xsalu club, ern xdrink, ern xsmoke, ern is such a naif girl. ern xslalu kua malam..haha.I can just laugh to myself. And because of this, people always thought Im the judgemental type and I dont understand whereas I know things way wayyyyyy better.Its funny when people tried to sneak to do stuff in front of me , aku senyum je.
I am now a completly new-born Ernie. I am ultimately happy with my life at the moment. I am over this curious-stage of life YEARS ago which most of the people around me are having right now. I had enough and biarlah saye jadi si naif. I considered all these as part of learning in life, and I have learnt my lesson.
To mom and dad,
I will never ever dissapoint you again. Everything I have achieved up until now is purely for you both. I love u.